Eastenders: 25 Years of Excellence

Did you miss the 25th Anniversary episode of Eastenders? No worries, my cousin Sam (an actor, dancer, and Fulham fan) offers a brilliant synopsis of the action…

READ THE FOLLOWING IN AN EASTEND ACCENT!!

Well, that old bloke Archie only went and raped his daughter and put a bun in stacy’s oven! Bradley and Stacey got  married in the previous episode and he found out about Archie then ’supposedely’ murked him. The old bill go and find Bradelys DNA on the body so therefore go and pay the Ginger cunt a visit – but he and stacey clock the fact the boys in blue are after them so attempt to do a runner to Cyprus or somewhere. They get in the bleeding taxi, and Brazers (the fucking plonker) only went and left the particulars (passports) in his gaf! He goes back but gets spotted by the pigs and gets chased up some stairs onto the roof of the Queen Vic and fuckin stacks it over the edge and fall to his death! After all that malarky (the audience still not knowing who killed Archie) Stacey tells Bradleys Dad “it was me…. I killed him” Finally the famous da da da theme song kicks in! I was so fuckin gripped throughout – my dead milky cuppa remained untouched and went luke warm! That’s a first!