Dirty Pleasures

Here’s my dirty little secret.

My favorite garment? Not the sugar cane denim I’ve worn 4 out of every 7 days for two years. Not the Barbour Beaufort. And no, not Patagonia merino wool shirts. I like these pieces, a lot, but they’ve not produced any unhealthy addictions.

I’ve got a fetish for Under Armour HeatGear longsleeve tees. They have to be grey. They have to have a college name/logo across the front. I stop at damn near every college bookstore I pass to nab one (ordering them would take away from the fun).

These are among some of the least fashionable pieces out. Under Armour being so ubiquitous that it has almost (dare I say) become the fabric of American life.

Founded in 1996, Under Armour began like many t-shirt brands… by selling from the boot of a car (just like FUBU!). The mission was simple – to sell a better t-shirt. A technical t-shirt with superior wicking qualities and all the good stuff that makes life easier on the athlete.

The brand has grown rapidly, I’d say. From the wicking t-shirt they now sell everything from running shoes to hunting apparel. They can outfit your family ski trip. And, they made a brilliant decision in signing Brandon Jennings. It is an American success story. But no, not a “MADE IN THE USA” story.

Under Armour is a new notch in a life long obsession with athletic gear. A short run through – in the late 80s, I tried to own every color of Umbro shorts on the market. In the mid-90s, the NEED was to own as many pairs of authentic Nike college basketball shorts as humanly possible (difficult given extremely high cost). From 1996 to 2001 I bought such a large number of authentic basketball jerseys that to admit to it would be to reveal a streak of insanity. (Sample jersey’s include a Chris Herren Celtics tank, Cavs DeJuan Wagner, several Iverson jerseys, more than one of the same Michael Finley Mavs jersey… you may begin to see the problem).

Now, its long sleeve shirts that fill my closet with names of schools I didn’t attend and institutions I don’t rate academically. Division 3 schools known for lacrosse. A Cincinnati tee marking a trip to watch UCONN at Fifth Third. I’ll draw the line at Purdue, but almost any other place is within reason.

In winter, this collection is regularly hidden under “classier” garments. A long underwear of sorts. More so a secret reminder of my love of average, American sportswear and college athletics.

I am not ashamed to admit to looking at all the “cool guy” Champion collaborations and thinking “damn, that would be better if the blank was Under Armour.”

The fit, weight, hand feel, all perfect. It’s not handcrafted, or even sustainable (as far as I know), but the Under Armour heatgear shirt matches needs like few other pieces.

I love these garments. My dirty little fashion pleasure.