Facebook Sucks

I joined Facebook two weeks ago, at the behest of a bunch of people who wanted (probably) to keep tabs on me, lest I start exhibiting more disturbing behavior. I have gone somewhat underground and I’m growing a beard, looking like a huskier version of James Brolin from “The Amityville Horror.” And now that you mention it, it is getting pretty fucking cold around here. That joke’s for the adults out there.

But anyway, Facebook: my friend Larry told me “Don’t join Facebook. It’s a giant time suckage.” I usually think he is right, so the fact that he is right yet again should come as no surprise. It sucks time like (insert your metaphor here…no, not that one….don’t be crass…go with the parking meter one…good).

I have spent too much time collecting friends like charms on a bracelet and only some of them I like. And late nights are spent peering at people’s pages, wondering how in the eff that douchbag friend of a friend has 571 friends, while I have like 57. And why, on earth, would someone want to post 300-odd photos of themselves. But, it’s how I spend my late nights. No really. And I do not think I am alone in that regard.

On a related not, my friend came over and surreptitiously screwed with my profile last week and made me look stupid. Let me tell you something, folks, he’s coming over tonight, and when he gets over I am going to…..oh, never mind.

Seriously, it’s getting cold in here isn’t it?