Uneasy as 1-2-3

I hate having my photo taken, and I know you find that hard to believe. I am like a multitude of terrible angles and sometimes I loom over a group like Shrek over the princess. And I don’t smile. I don’t for photos, at least.

In my intermediate circle of friends there are very photogenic, somewhat photogenic and…not at all photogenic. The difference is that they don’t give a shit and I do, which is stupid. I am going to work on that. In time for the Selectism.com bloggers calendar shoot in sunny St. Bart’s.

I was thinking about how it would suck to be famous, even if you were rich, because you would have to adjust to having your photo taken a million times a week, and how that probably made Michael Jackson’s life a living hell.

I have been watching the coverage wind down (although, the “Daddy’s Just Clowning!” NY Post headline today is pretty electric) and what I overwhelmingly feel is relief for my senses, and for the man himself. Thank God he has been put out of his misery. You don’t do the things he did to his face, if you are feeling groovy about things. And you don’t do things to kids like he did (if you say “allegedly”, we’re through) unless your issues have issues.

Chris Rock said a few months ago, “I wouldn’t let Michael Jackson see a photograph of my kids.” But now, that he is gone, everyone is much kinder (and their youngsters much safer—and I am not even joking). Which doesn’t help Jackson, but will help his children, as they are finally released into society.

Culturally speaking, I am not smart enough to figure out how important he was. (I believe that Sidney Poitier’s and Bill Cosby’s impacts on white America were more important. So there.) Musically, too, it isn’t easy to quantify. He has kind of sucked for more than a decade, limping around the world like a Michael Jackson impersonator, recycling his themes and melodies. But anyone can see how great he was at the height of his powers, the Off the Wall-Thriller period. Was he better than Prince? I say no. I am curious as to what you think.

But, regardless, he is a great loss. The difference between this one and those of Kurt Cobain and Jeff Buckley, however, is that this is one that I have been mourning for near-on twenty years.