Christmas Party out of Bounds

My wife had her company Christmas party last night and this quiet-as-a-mouse art chick got drunk and went buck wild, throwing drinks in people’s faces, cursing out her bosses and generally acting like a lunatic. It’s a recurring story: the company Christmas party debacle.

There was a story a few years ago about some production assistant at a major media that got so wasted she…voided (I sound like my mother) while lying on a white velvet couch in some party space. In front of 1,000 people. She had to be carried out, hosed off (presumably) and moved out of town shortly thereafter.

My own experience is slightly less dramatic, although those present that night still laugh about it. About ten years ago, at a otherwise lovely company Christmas party a woman got so drunk she became profane, and graphic, when introduced to the owner’s wife, and then eventually, staggered out of the ladies room with her pants around her ankles, before collapsing and calling for “mama.”

I was telling a work friend today that I thought new employees should be shown a warning video about their first company Christmas party. When you’re young the thought of free food and booze is enough to get you to cut loose.

When I first met GG, as a young cub/co-worker, I warned her to avoid getting drunk at our company’s party, her first, as the mailroom guys would try and dirty dance with her and her assistant friends. I had seen it happen three years in a row.

Although she barely knew me, she took my advice and we watched her friends get all humpty-humped by the guys responsible for stealing anything from us that looked even remotely edible.

But with the economy tanking, Christmas parties are disappearing faster than Roman Polanski’s supporters, and so the chances of you witnessing something memorable and is rare, unless of course, you have too much to drink.

So don’t, okay?