“Lost” in Translation

If ever a show was aptly named, besides for The Biggest Loser, it has got to be ABC’s extravaganza of confusion, Lost.

I’ve tried over the years to see if I could wedge the show into my busy viewing schedule since I’m a late starter. It took me three years to get into 24, I missed a half-season of Gossip Girl due to my own stupidity, and I just watched the first few episodes of MadMen.

I’ve wanted to like Lost, because as you know, I pride myself on going along with the crowd. And I’ve certainly enjoyed watching my friends interact the morning after another episode with doofy, confused smiles on their faces, trying to decipher whether that flashback actually had a foreshadowing and…never mind.

Everyone is looking at each other to see if anyone knows what is “really going on.” On a television show. Seriously. Even after all these years, no one truly knows what the hell has happened, is happening, will happen.

If I can’t figure out what a show is about in 10 minutes I am outski. My friends obviously feel differently and I do not begrudge them that. In their defense, they think there has been some grand master plan all along. That each numbingly confusing episode is one small piece of an elaborate, and ultimately satisfying, whole story arc. That one day, in the near future, their faith and their time will be redeemed.

And I am nearly 100% positive that their theory is bullshit. That the two creators have cobbled together a storyline on the fly, never thought the show would be such a success, and when the final season ends in a few weeks, they will peddle an ending that will leave my friends furious and unsatisfied. And I will have been proven correct. Yet again.

When that happens, please think of those developments as one of those umpteen Lost flashbacks. Only this one, it will make perfect sense. I promise you that.